Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
