Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
