just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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