did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
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I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
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Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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