i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
