it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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