dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
