you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
What a dumb baby whore.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
