This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
