it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
