We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
