paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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