So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
