Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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