Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
