I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...