you didnt know i had herpes?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
