dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize