I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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