thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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