"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
