This girl is more easily done than said...
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
In America we eat man semen.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
