Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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