I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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