Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
