Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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