We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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