She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
