I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize