the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
