They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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