Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
