I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
