Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
