I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
