I think i peed on brittanys purse
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
