but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
