Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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