she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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