Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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