Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
you never un-have a 4some
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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