He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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