so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
