He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
