It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
