i think my tv is drunk
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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