lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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