i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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