Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
