whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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