On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
You did what with his pubic hair?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
