If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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