yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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