girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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