I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
