STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
