I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
