ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
