she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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