Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
