did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
