Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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