i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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