I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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