Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
