Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
